


something new

by Griffin Raynor (TheEbonHawk)



Series: a garden full of stars [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Baby Steven Universe, Bonding, Canon Compliant, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief, Healing, Mentioned Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Mild Angst, Missing Scene, Moving On, Past Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), gay bird mom feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-13 00:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20573345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEbonHawk/pseuds/Griffin%20Raynor
Summary: Pearl is still not used to holding Rose's baby, but Garnet's determined to get her on board.Please leave a comment/review if you liked it!





	something new

Garnet held the baby out toward Pearl. "You have to hold him." 

Pearl frowned down at infant Steven. She'd tried not to hold him unless necessary since the day of the blizzard. It wasn't that she didn't  _ like _ holding him - she’d grown very fond of Steven. She just felt so horrible about how much he made her miss Rose, made her wish Rose was here instead.

Garnet stared at Pearl from behind her visor, still holding Steven out towards her like an offering. "It's okay to miss her, Pearl. But you've got to try to get used to this. He needs you."

Pearl laughed and dropped her head. "He doesn't need me. He has you, and Amethyst, and Greg...Why would he need me?"

"Rose needed you," Garnet answered quietly. "And he's Rose's child. He needs people who knew Rose, who loved Rose, who can tell him about her. And no one fulfills that more than you."

Pearl looked up at Garnet and blinked, frowned. She was right - Pearl had spent thousands of years with Rose, long before Greg, long before even Garnet. Before the rebellion and before the Rose Quartz that the Crystal Gems had known even existed. 

But that meant there were things she couldn't tell Steven, and wouldn't tell him. Things his mother had done in the war. Things Pearl had done for her. The reality of their relationship...she couldn't. And how much good was she if she couldn't tell him those most important things? She shook her head. 

"He wouldn't understand the things I could tell him. He's a human. It would be...too much for him."

"Give him a chance." Garnet leaned forward again, insistently reaching Steven out for Pearl to take. The baby was squirming now, growing uncomfortable for being held out in the air and not close, supported. He started to whine quietly. 

Garnet probably would've taken him back to her chest and soothed him, but Pearl was suddenly moved by an instinct she didn't understand and took the baby from Garnet's arms, gathering him to her chest with one strong arm and caressing his hair and cheek with the other. "There, there, little baby. It's alright, don't fuss." She made sure to support his head like Greg had shown her, and began bouncing him lightly in her arms.

Steven opened his eyes and smiled, giggled and flapped his tiny little arms at her, nearly hitting her in the face. Pearl smiled against her will, in spite of herself. It was always in spite of herself. She loved him, but shouldn't she be sad, feel betrayed? Or if she was going to love him, why couldn't she do it without reservation, without always thinking of Rose? It wasn't fair, to love him in place of Rose, to love him because he was all she had left of Rose. He deserved better than that. 

Well, she would do better, then. She’d learn. She’d train herself to be a good guardian for him, just like she’d trained for everything else, and she’d give him the best she had. Looking at his innocent, tiny smile, she had to. Not just because she saw Rose in that smile. There was so much more to him...he was something completely new.

Pearl held him a bit tighter and lightly kissed his forehead. She exchanged another glance with Garnet, who smiled. Pearl let her hand rest on Steven’s chest and felt his little heart beat.

  
Yes, she would get used to this. She’d try to move on. She could do that, if it was for him.


End file.
